1. Notice the sensations on your scalp.
The familiar tingle moving around betwixt the hairs.
Allow yourself to fully relax as the enormous grey spider decides where to nestle.
Move your head slightly to keep her exploring.
Soon she will lay down her egg sac and shortly you will have so many more sensations.
You are so lucky.
Move your consciousness to your arms. Be aware of the straps restraining them.
Similar to the ones on your ankles. So soft and padded and comfortable.
They are there to protect the spider from any accidental movements.
But also to help you to enjoy the stillness,
and to allow you to savour a full month of peace and quiet and relaxation.
2. Notice your jaw. Why are you holding tension in your jaw?
"Well, mainly, it's because I'm pissed off." she retorted. "I've never been asked for something so stupid before in all my life, but you're in charge, you should know what you're doing, I have to try to make it happen, but it's really bloody stupid."
David looked affronted.
"And what's that you're doing with your hands?"
She grinned. "Funny you should ask, as you're about to find out."
3. Notice the fabric of your clothes against your skin. What does that feel like?
How about now, as I pour warm sweetened milk on your shoulders, and release a bag of raccoons into your pants?
4. You are running because
I am chasing you.
Why am I chasing you? You already know. It cannot be explained in mere words, but you are aware.
What did you do to me? Nothing. As you know, you've never even seen me. The reason for this pursuit is nothing so trivial as worldly offence or misfortune. It simply IS. There is no further need to justify it.
What will happen when I catch you?
You already know that too. Let's not talk about that right now.
5. When I elbow you in the neck
You'll tell me I'm a snek
When I punch you in the throat
You'll think that I'm a stoat
If I bite you in the thigh
You'll consider me a fly
But when I sieze your foot
I'm probably just a mutt
Long Write based on Eazysleep Podcast Volume 2 by Amy Acre
Write a podcast/meditation.
Could be about sleeping
or
to alleviate stress,
to relax,
to commune with your higher self,
to stop smoking,
couch to 5k,
mindful eating,
to believe in yourself,
deep kindness
or whatever
-----------------
You are in your garden.
Sit comfortably, close your eyes, allow yourself to smell the clean air.
Feel the sensation of the wooden bench on your back and legs.
Settle into the seat, resting your arms on the table.
Enjoy the clean, fresh air, breathe deeply of it.
Take a sip of your water. Savour the pleasant freshness.
You do not want a cigar, or a glass of whisky. Or a bag of chocolate.
Your day has been bad, but you do not need those things to relax.
There were moments when you wanted to karate chop people in their windpipes,
But you are working remotely, so you couldn't get to them.
And now you're in your garden. The working day is over,
You have survived another day.
You can relax completely.
Listen to that noise. It's your work phone
bleating impotently about yet another failure caused by the incompetence
of the people you said we shouldn't hire in the first place.
It can wait. You have time. Breathe deeply. The air tastes of nothing.
The water tastes of nothing. You cannot taste the warmth of the
excellent bottle of scotch you have in the kitchen,
as it tempers the bitterness of the remnants of the smoke from that Cuban
that you've been saving for a special occasion. Or a shitty evening.
You do not need the smooth chocolate no matter how much of a perfect
counterpoint it would be to the savoury earthiness of the cigar
or the fire of the spirit.
The noise grows more impatient. You are not impatient. You just know
that you're not paid enough to care this time. Consider Bob. He's meant
to be on-call tonight. Why are they contacting you?
Consider it a compliment, you can fix things he cannot.
Or maybe he's just better at ignoring it than you are.
He's better at most things than you, is what your mind tells you.
It's objectively not true, but you do like to torture yourself with such things.
Maybe you'll be fired. Maybe you should attack someone in the office.
Pick up the cigar. Sniff it. You do not need to smoke it.
You are in control of your own destiny. You can reject it and enjoy the clean air.
Feel the weight of the exquisitely engineered cutter in your other hand.
The satisfying snick of the razor sharp blades cleanly removing the cap end.
The reassuring click and fizz of the jet lighter and the first few wafts
of leaves grown on an island thousands of miles away
being burned in a garden in Wigan.
Open your eyes and go get the whisky and the chocolate.
You deserve it.
They're all twats.
Specially Bob.