Words Down Writing Prompts - 17th October 2022

Lies

The reference piece was an extract from "All the things I lied about" by Katie Bonna, a one-woman fictional show where Katie Bonna talks directly to the audience about the main character's habits of lying to everyone.

One Minute Prompts: Write lies to elaborate or respond to the following prompts.

Is he like this normally?

No, actually. To be fair he's in pretty good shape today. By this time on a Friday he's usually chair-bound and barely verbal, so inappropriate epithets is actually an improvement.

It's not you, it's me. I...

... found out when I was 12 that I was horribly allergic to lizards and when you said that about wanting a pet I knew you meant a reptile and and I just thought, I can't limit your happiness like that. I was going to suggest that we get a nice tank and get some frogs and some toys for them but I dunno. I even thought we could get them a slide, but it's a slippery slope,

A reason that you're late, involving a tree

It's not my fault. I was bang on time but then my uber driver stopped the car when he heard something hit his roof, and he got out and started kicking off with this group of kids for throwing stones, and by the time I noticed that it was just a conker falling out of the tree we drove under, I was already late.

Isn't it lovely to be here again?

Yes I mean it's always lovely to see Steve and catch up on the people he hates and his latest favourite stereotypes. I've got a little book I collect those in. I'm trying to get the full set.

Fifteen Minute Prompt: Write a Liary (A diary of lies)

For this one I adopted a caricature of an unpleasant self-centred person as my "protagonist" and considered the lies they may tell throughout the day.

Lie 1, 6:25am. Wife asked me if I slept well and I said yes. If I'd said no then she'd have wanted to know WHY and WHAT WAS ON MY MIND and I just couldn't be arsed with all that,

Lie 7, 7:45am. A homeless man just asked me if I could spare 10p. Of course I could, but, LOL, nope.

Lie 12, 8:69am. I just managed to get the last of the filter coffee ahead of Rob by saying I was allergic to the instant coffee. I need it more than him anyway. 

Lie 22, 11:45am. Boss just asked me if I could GUARANTEE that the project will be delivered by the end of next month. There's no way in hell that's going to happen, but it's bonus time at the end of THIS month, and next month when it comes to it I can pin it on Richie or Mike. I'd ideally like to be shot of at least one of those two anyway.

Lie 41, 4:30pm. My daughter being ill and me needing to go to the pharmacy for medicine is a much more acceptable reason for an early finish than needing to catch the vape stall before it closes. After all they're in the same place anyway.

Lie 50, 5:45pm. Just saw Jeff leaving our house. He seemed surprised to see me home so early. It's so good that Karen has such a close friend who can help her with stuff around the house when I'm at work.